Can We Create a Future Too?
by kab16
Summary: It's a con. Get her to open up and admit that she wants out. But truth is he's way off and two can play this game. Creating the past was easy. It's the future that's going to be a challenge. Suliet Dharma story.
1. Lies

_**A/N: Hey everyone! So, this is going to be a multi-chapter fic from dharma times. It might be three chapters, it might be ten. It depends if I get any more ideas to add onto the one I already have.**_

_**So I took a little break from the wonderful world of fanfiction to work on some original writing of mine, and I'm having some trouble getting back into this. My lost obsession is slowly dying down, so I had a lot of trouble getting everyone's character right. i don't think this chapter turned out to well, but whatever. hopefully the next chapter will be easier. Please review and tell me what you think!**_

_**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!**_

**_:)_**

**_-Sarah_**

* * *

Here's the thing about living a lie: sometimes it is exhilarating. The past is empty and open and waiting for you to redesign it. And that's exiting.

But other times, it just feels like your life is...well, a lie. It became tiresome to keep up the pretenses. To not mention a book or song that hasn't come out yet. To have to join in conversations about the 'current' politics and answer questions about what his life was like before. That's why it was so great to come home and be able to be honest with someone. This place was like a sanctuary. He and Juliet could just let everything go.

"I'm surprised," Juliet said from the sofa, reading her book, when he complained about all the lies. "I'd think this would be a breeze for our beloved conman. You lied for a living."

"Hey," Sawyer said, taking her book away and plopping down in a chair. "Don't make it sound like I'm the bad guy here. You're not too innocent either. I think all of your stunts as a double agent or triple agent or whatever the hell you were up to in the past couple of months adds up to my conning."

"Not a chance," she said, reaching for her book. He pulled it back. "Me trying to get away from my psychotic, obsessed leader while staying alive does _not _compare to your lifetime of conning woman for their money." She stood up and walked around him to reach her book, but he only held it over to the opposite side.

If the island were to go crazy again sent them forward in time to when the Doc first brought Juliet to their cozy little side of the island and he were to tell future/past him that one day he and Juliet would be sitting in their living room in 1974, fighting and joking over a book and whose life consisted of the most lying, he wouldn't have believed it. He would accept the time travel; he would accept the being stuck in the 70's, but not the being buddy-buddies with Juliet. No way in _hell_ would he ever befriend that Other who almost killed Kate.

It sometimes still surprised him.

It really started to come together on the second night. He had told her they should come up with a complete past, just so there were no mistakes and misunderstandings. She wasn't too enthusiastic. "I'd like to keep my past the way it is, thanks," she had said.

"That's gonna be a little hard, sweetheart. From here on out, we were born in the forties. We need to act accordingly." She still didn't look convinced. "Oh come on, it'll be fun. We get to recreate everything that ever happened to us. What's not to like? It'll be fun."

It was unbelievably awkward.

But eventually she got into it. They got out a bottle of wine and joked around about all the things they could have done. In one scenario (curtsey of Juliet) he and Miles were secret lovers and this whole search for the black rock was only an excuse for them to get away and be together. And then there was the one of _them_ having a secret, scandalous romance on the boat that Jin (quite accidently) found out about, but that didn't concern either of them because who would he be able to tell? They laughed more than either of them had in a very, _very _long time, and he actually learned a lot about her real past. Like how she had a sister and a nephew that she never met. How she was the only reason he was ever born. How she was a doctor that was scammed into coming here, and she never intended on staying here and becoming the person he knew her as back in 2005. Everything he had thought he knew about her, every first impression that he had was proven wrong. And by the time they finally crawled into their beds at four in the morning without having come up with one usable past, he could barely remember what he found so hard to like about her before.

The sound of a jeep coming to a stop in front of their house distracted Sawyer and Juliet stole her book back.

"Ha!" She said triumphantly.

"Alright, you win," he said absentmindedly, focusing out the window. Horace got out of the jeep and headed up their walkway. "Shit," Sawyer said, beginning to stand. "Tell him I'm not here."

"James!" Juliet laughed. "He's your boss."

"Yeah I know, and he's makin' that pretty clear. He hasn't left me alone for one second. I've only been on the team for two weeks and he's working me to death. I swear he's trying to get rid of me. Wishes we hadn't stayed and now he's tryin' to kill me off."

"You are such a drama queen."

The doorbell rang and Sawyer snuck into the kitchen. _Not here!_ He mouthed before disappearing.

Juliet rolled her eyes and opened the door. "Hey Horace" she smiled.

"Juliet" he greeted. "Do you have a second?"

"Sure, come on in."

"Oh no, its fine. This really will only take a second. I was just wondering how the living arrangements are?"

She had been living here with James for twenty three days now. The first night, she thought it would be her temporary stay for her two weeks of torture. But then on the second night she and James had stayed up til morning talking about their pasts-real _and _fake ones-and on the twelfth night she decided there was no point in leaving the island. Horace said they could keep this house, if they were okay with it. Neither had a problem.

"It's great," she answered.

"Jim isn't too much trouble?" Horace joked.

"James is fine," she laughed. No doubt James would use this as proof that Horace was 'trying of get rid of him.

"That's great. Well listen, I'm sure you know about the scientists moving to Ann Harbor this week?"

"Yeah, Dan mentioned it."

"Right, well I just checked the list for the upcoming submarine, and it looks like we are losing more people than we are gaining, so some houses are emptying up. I already talked to Miles and he was pretty eager to get his own place. So I was thinking maybe you wanted...but if things are going well here...it's up to you," he said.

"Um..." She wasn't quite sure what she wanted. She was happy here, and James seemed happy to, but they had no choice but to live together. Would he rather of a house to himself? Would she be happier alone?

"There's no rush. Why don't you talk it over with Jim and get back to me?" Horace suggested, seeing her struggle.

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks."

"Speaking of, is he here? I was hoping to go over some security things with him."

"You know, he just stepped into the shower. And James and his hair...who knows how long he'll be? I'll tell him you stopped by."

"Alright, thanks."

"No problem. And I'll see about the house too."

"Great. I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Yep," she smiled. "Bye Horace." She closed the door behind him.

"Mind enlightenin' me one how the hair comment was necessary, Blondie?" James question, appearing from the kitchen.

"Would you rather I tell him that you were hiding in the kitchen?"

"No. But now you've got two more lies to add to your list. That I was in the shower and that I'm obsessed with my hair," he said, flipping his it for affect. She suddenly imagined her hands in that hair. She shook the thought away quickly.

"Whatever you say, Jesse."

"Good one," he admitted sourly. The other day when he caught her mumble a 'sonuvabitch' when she burned herself cooking. He was rubbing off on her. "Just be careful not to use it in public. Full House don't come out til '85."

"I'll keep that in mind. So I'm assuming you heard about the separate houses offer?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, walking to the couch. "I'm fine with you here."

"You are?" she asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know." She sat down next to him. "You just always struck me as the type of guy who would rather be on his own."

"Yeah, I guess I always was that guy. But I'm used to this. And we have a nice system going on. If you moved out, I'd have to cook _and _clean _every_ night."

She smiled slightly, but she didn't really feel like joking right now. He seemed to catch on. "It's nice having the company. It was a bit of a challenge to admit it, but he forced the words out. "I want you to stay."

She stared at him.

"If you want to, I mean..." damn, now she had him all self conscious. It wasn't a feeling he was used to. He didn't like it.

"No, I do. Definitely."

"Good," he said, but there was still tension in the room. "So...its settled?"

"Yeah. I want to stay, you want to stay. I guess we're both staying."

"And neither of us are adding lies to our lists, right Pinocchio?"

"No," she laughed. "I _promise_ I want to stay. It's like..." she searched for the words to describe what she was thinking. "This is kind of the only place I'm comfortable. I have to go through the day as a mechanic that grew up in the 60's. And then I come home and drop the act and we can have real conversations without it in our way. I think if I wasn't able to come home every night and talk to you just as us, I might actually start to believe we grew up here."

"Exactly," he said. This is _exactly_ what he was thinking. "Those were my thoughts exactly. See, we're meant to be, darlin'." He said casually. "We just get each other. You might just be the first woman I've ever been able to just be myself with. No lies, no sexual tension. It's great. It's fuckin' great."

"It is," She smiled, beginning to stand. "Well I'm gonna go start dinner. Amy gave me the newest edition of The Dharma Cookbook." She grinned. They've had some bad experiences with those books. "She told me we _had_ to try the chicken. So hopefully that'll be 'fuckin' great' too."

* * *

She got bathroom first on Mondays. This was another system that just worked with them. So she was already in bed and reading, same as always. But the conversation from before was replaying itself in the back of her mind.

"Hey Juliet!" James called, sticking his head in her room. "I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet."

"That's disgusting."

"Can I use yours?"

"No!"

"Alright thanks," he said, heading back to the bathroom.

"James!"

"Don't worry, Barbie. I won't use it. And if I do I just won't tell you."

Ew. "You're making me regret my decision already."

He sauntered back into her room, a green toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. "There," he said, the toothbrush and toothpaste distorting his words. "I found an extra one. Happy?"

"Very."

He gave her one of his classic, dimpled smiles. Only this time he had toothpaste all over his mouth. "Goodnight."

"Night," she laughed. She watched him leave, taking a special interest in his boxers. She went back to reading but then the image of his face had her laughing again. His words from this afternoon were still idly spinning around in her head.

_We're meant to be, darlin'. We just get each other._

She felt a flutter in her heart and then a knot in her stomach. Like all of these sudden and overwhelming feelings of excitement and giddiness and a weird sense of fear were tying themselves around each other.

Her laughter broke off suddenly.

Shit.

_No lies, no sexual tension. It's great._

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

She recognized this feeling.

She was falling for him.


	2. Never Tried A Con Like This Before

_**A/N: I am on such a fanfiction high right now. I'm beginning to think we should have test weeks more often, considering how putting off studying for them seems to be the only time I'm motivated to write. **_

_**I know this update is about half a year late, but hopefully now that I've got chapter 2 up, I will continue updating on a somewhat regular basis (never take my word for how long an update will take). I'm still not sure exactly how long this is going to turn out, but it is certainly going to be more then three!**_

_**I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Please review!**_

_**Sarah**_

_**

* * *

**_

"So there's this girl, right? And you like her but you're not sure if she likes you. And whenever you try to talk to her, everything just comes out wrong. What do you do?"

"Okay, we are _not _talking to you about your girl problems," Miles says as he stares at the monitors, scribbling something down.

"But I really like her!"

"Phil, you have been a complete ass to Rosie from the moment she got here," Sawyer joins in.

"But I can't help it," Phil argues. "I don't know what to say around her. You understand, don't you LaFleur?"

Before Sawyer had a chance to say that no, no he does not, and what the hell does Phil mean by that anyway, Miles cuts in. "Guys, we've got something on screen two."

Sawyer and Phil look over at the screen to see someone right on the border of the Hostile line.

"Looks like one of our men," Sawyer observes.

"Probably John," Phil says. "That son of a bitch never pays attention to where he's going."

The three look at each other, and then Sawyer lifts his hands. "I went last time."

"Yeah, and did the one before that," Miles declares.

Phil looks at them. "Fuck you. Fine, I'll go." He sighs, stands, slings his gun over his shoulder, and is gone.

"Thank God," Miles mutters under his breath as he turns his attention back to the monitors and Sawyer returns to his seat.

"Have you noticed that Juliet's been ignoring me lately?" He asks.

"Not you too," Miles groans. "You know what, from now on, all of our chick issues stay outside of this room, alright?"

"It's not 'chick issues,' it's Juliet. She's being really weird. Like yesterday when I went to meet her at the motor pool to walk home, she just gave me one of those looks and said she was going to stay late. And when I joked about making us one of those candlelight dinner recipes from the Dharma cookbook she told me she was eating at Amy's. You haven't noticed anything?"

Miles rubs his temples. "No Jim, I haven't. She's still the same, cold Juliet she's always been.

"Maybe to _you_," James mumbles. "But she hasn't been cold to me like this since before the flashes. I don't even know what the hell I did."

And then it clicks. He knows exactly when it started. Last Tuesday, the day after Horace came about the new houses opening up. Is that what this is? She wants her own house? Well, shit, she coulda just said so. Did she just assume he would just pack up and out the moment the offer came? Figured he'd be the one to say he'd take so she wouldn't have to? Well sorry to disappoint, Blondie.

And now? Is she hoping that he'll change his mind and leave if she's enough of a bitch to him? Thinks that'll be easier than just telling him she wants to live alone?

We'll he's not gonna give in. If she wants out, _she _can move. Two can play her game.

###

"Jeez, you really catch on fast," Drew, head of the motor pool, praises as he looks at the car Juliet was practicing on. "It's perfect."

Juliet lifts her goggles, wipes the sweat and grease off her face. "So do I pass?"

"One hundred percent. Congratulations Juliet. We'll get your official motor pool jump suit tomorrow."

She grins. The lovely folk of the dharma initiative were quite sexist, so while everyone else got invited to join the security time (on an island she knew better than any of them. To keep an eye on a group of people that she knew better than any of them) Juliet was given the option of teacher, cook, or nurse. She had to refrain herself from telling them that she had more medical training then any of the doctors on this island. Although, she had to admit, that one she understood. They weren't going to let any random off a boat become a doctor, and she wasn't going to tell them she was qualified. She really didn't want to be a doctor anyway.

She had gotten her Other on and went to talk to Horace. Security was full, but he gave her a list of all of the available jobs, and this is what she chose.

A horn honks and a blue jeep pulls up beside her.

"What're you smiling about?"

"I got the job," Juliet beams.

"Really? That's great! We should celebrate." There is a hint of challenge in his voice, daring her to make an excuse. But she misses it. In a moment of weakness, she allows herself to ask, "What'd you have in mind?"

"We could get some games from the rec room, have an all nighter."

Her smile falters the tiniest bit. "That sounds great."

It did sound great, except for the fact that ever since she realized she liked him, she's found it difficult to be around him without her thoughts running wild. He's so damn charming, so loose and comfortable to be with, that any minute she could lose control and say something stupid.

What they had was perfect, and she wasn't about to ruin it by having him find out how she felt.

Of course, avoiding him couldn't be doing their relationship much good either. But it was safer to keep her heart locked inside its cage of rib bones, lonely and unreachable, than to give him the chance to crush it. He could do it so easily. Just like the feeling of broken glass underneath the skin of her dislocated shoulder, she's felt the glass wedged into her heart one too many times before.

She puts her tools away slowly to keep herself occupied. "Came to see if you wanted a lift home?" He exaggerates the last word.

She looks at him. She was running out of excuses. Sooner or later, she'd have to learn how to be with him and ignore the screaming in her head. "Sure. Thanks."

He usually plays an old tape in the car, but he didn't want her to have the music as an escape. So they sat in silence, and he waited to see what she'd say.

The silence is heard to bear. She finds himself staring at his hands, at his eyes behind his nerdy glasses. The stubble on his cheeks and the curve of his lips. Dammit stop staring at him! She looks out at the houses rolling by. What is she supposed to say when even the tone of her voice could give her away? It was the lack of sexual tension that made their friendship so easy, and here they were now with the tension so thick it was getting hard to breathe.

"I'll start dinner while you get the games?" she finally asks.

"Works for me."

He drops her off at the house and gave her a dimpled smile. She imagines calling out his name. She imagines getting back into the jeep, pulling him towards her, crushing his lips with hers. She imagines the feel of his hair in her hands and his tongue on her lips. She imagines tearing off his shirt. She...she turns quickly and goes inside before she has the chance to imagine anymore.

"Isn't it weird," James begins as he saunters into the kitchen. "That there aren't any dharma board games?"

"Excuse me?" She's at the oven, checking on the eggplant. He falls back into one of the kitchen chairs. Normally he'd be reading in the living room or something. The cook of the night usually got the kitchen to themselves. But if she was trying to give him a reason to move out, he was going to give her a reason to tell him instead of beating around the bush.

"They've got dharma stationary, dharma schoolbooks, dharma food, dharma jumpsuits. But all of the games in the rec room are imported from the mainland."

Juliet pulls a piece of loose cheese of the dish and pops it in her mouth. "I don't think they have the time to design board games." She carries as many of the plates as she could handle into the dining room and James follows with the rest. "Thanks."

"'Course they have the time. They've got the time to make everything else, don't they? These people don't have the busiest of lives."

She smiles slightly. "I guess not."

She stares down at her plate and they eat in silence and he wants to through something at her. What happened to them? What happened to this being their sanctuary? The place they could make sure they weren't getting too caught up in the lie. The place they could just be themselves. They were supposed came each other sane and she is driving him mad.

"Set up whatever game you want while I clean," he told her. What she really wanted to do was lock herself in her room and curl up with a good book (well, no. What she _really _wanted to do was throw him down on the table and kiss him until she's gasping for air, but that's not really an option is it?) But she promised him a game night. She can still have fun with him, even if they're not making out.

She looks at the pile in the living room. Clue, Othello, Guess Who, Monopoly, Life. She pulls that one out and puts two cars on the board.

"How's life?" she calls out to him.

"Just dandy. Nothin' better then scraping cheese out of a pan." She giggled despite herself. "It's fine," he says. "Set it up."

The sit cross legged on the floor, the game in between them. He nods at the spinner. "You first, Motor Pool."

She can't keep herself from smiling and she goes to spin. "Six. Oh, yay," she says dryly. "I get a husband."

She takes a blue guy and sticks him in the car.

"What's his name?" James asks.

"He doesn't have one."

"What do you mean he doesn't have one? He's your husband. He's gotta have a name."

She rolls her eyes. "Jack."

"At least it's something. Give it here." He holds his hand for the spinner.

"Would ya look at that? I'm getting married to." He holds his pink plastic wife up to her with a grin. "Kate."

Okay, she asked for that.

They continue passing the spinner back of fourth, moving their cars along the board.

"Fourth daughter, huh?" Juliet says when James lands on yet another baby spot. "You and Kate sure are keeping busy."

"You and the Doc adopted twins?" He asks a couple of rounds later. "That's cute."

They're almost at the end when James says, "Ya know what's probably really goin' on out there?"

"What?"

He lifts Kate out of his car, takes Juliet out of hers, and puts Kate next to Jack. Juliet searches for any hint of sadness in his voice or on his face, but she doesn't find any. He states it like a fact, something happening thirty years away that doesn't involve him, never did.

"You just threw me into the water," she deadpans.

He looks down to see her figure lying on top of a pond. "Sorry," he smirks, picking her up and putting placing her in the empty space where Kate used to be. Then he looks up at her with a light in his eyes. "Better?"

She holds his gaze, and then stands. "I'm making tea." She announces before leaving the room.

Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. It feels almost like a con, trying to get her uncomfortable enough to move out. Isn't this exactly what he's pissed at her for? Not saying what she really wants? Maybe if he just asks her about it, they could work it out and no one will move out. Maybe he should be the bigger person.

But screw it, when has he ever been the biggest person? She's been treating him like crap, and somebody's gotta teach her that just cause she's got blue eyes like tasers doesn't mean she can scare everyone away.

She can't scare _him_ away.

She's back five minutes later with a mug in her hands. "I don't want any kids."

"What?"

"We're sharing a car now, right? I don't want your kids whining and complaining in the backseat."

He scrutinizes her a minute before lifting the four figures out of the car and putting them in Jack and Kate's, lying two of them on the top.

Her knees are against her chest and she is staring at him from over the mug poised at her lips. Something about the way he's looking at her, those blue eyes shining and one eyebrow raised in a perfect arch, the way that her hair hangs over her shoulder in a lose ponytail, it makes his heart race. A memory of Kate changing behind the bars of her cage runs fleetingly through his mind. Her black bra and bare skin, the beeping of his heart monitor as the numbers increased. He remembers Danny beating him, knocking him against the cage. "_Do you love him!"_

He remembers Juliet shooting him without a moment's hesitation.

He looks down at the board and back to her. It's his turn, but he's not quite sure how the game works when the players are in the same car. This is all so screwed up, he thinks, with their featureless plastic figures sitting happily together in the car, while here they are staring each other down, in the midst of a competition that has nothing to do with the words printed on the candy colored road of life below.

Their eyes are locked. He isn't about to be the first to look away. Neither is she, apparently.

Her blue eyes are menacing, but he doesn't back. He resists the urge to blink.

"Now what?"


	3. Fantasies

_**Okay, almost two years later and I'm back. I've been reading fanfictions again recently and made this crazy challenge for myself to try and finish the most important of my incomplete stories. Which, for me, is this and **_**Destination Reached? _Not sure how well that will go but I think I might have it in me!_**

**_Anyhow, I'm not sure if I have any readers left, but if I do please review and tell me what you think! I haven't written lost in a really long time, so I'm not quite sure how this is. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy!_**

**_-Sarah_**

* * *

"I think I'm just gonna call it a night," Juliet says, standing.

"Yeah. I think we missed the point of life anyway."

She rolls her eyes. "Night James."

He watches her walk out. "Aren't you gonna at least help clean up?"

"I'll do it in the morning," she calls back, not even bothering to turn around. He wants to scream, wants to run after her and grab her wrist and force her to look at him. Force her to tell him what she wants because this isn't fair to him.

He watches her climb the stairs, turn into her room, and shut the door.

"Dammit!" He yells, just too low for her to hear, and pounds the board. A bridge comes loose. The cars flip over. Him and Juliet are sent flying, and they land with a good two feet of space between them.

* * *

"Shit."

She leans back against the door, closing her eyes.

And she wonders. What's the worst that could happen if he finds out? If she tells him? He says _sorry Blondie, not my type. _Or he smiles, pulls her in, presses his lips against hers. He moves a hand to her hips, under her shirt and up…

No.

No. She cares about this group too much. Her, Miles, Jin, and James. She can't let some stupid fantasies get in the way of that. What if he doesn't feel the same way and then its too awkward for him to be with her? What if something does happen and then it's too awkward for her to be with him? What if more than something happens? They date _(cause James really is the dating type)_ and then they break up and the whole group is torn apart? Where are any of them supposed to turn then? How is she supposed to stay sane without his support? She can't loose that.

And okay fine she knows that she's already loosing him and that pushing him away is doing more harm to the group then any of those other possibilities would.

Fine, she'll admit it. She doesn't want to get hurt.

But shit, this isn't feeling all that good either.

* * *

"Rosie said hi to me this morning. I passed her when I was leaving my house and she smiled and said hi. And the smile was really genuine, you know?"

"Just shut the fuck up, will you," James mutters under his breath. He stares at the screens, and as much as he tries to look away he can't keep himself from drifting back to the one that shows the motor pool.

"Excuse me, LaFleur?"

He groans and looks at Phil. "She must be in love with you then."

"Oh very funny. You know what, LaFleur, I don't need this from you." James turns back around and tries to ignore the rambling that follows.

_ Juliet. Tell me what's going on. _That's all he needs to say. Or, _Juliet do you want to move out? Because if you do, that's fine._ But the thought sends his stomach dropping and he wonders, is it?

Maybe it's not just that he doesn't want to back down first. Maybe there's another reason that he's drawing this out as long as he can.

But no. There can't be. She's Juliet. He stays sane here because they can just talk and laugh and be themselves with no pressure and no tension.

But he sees her on the screen, rolling herself under a van, and he thinks of the way she looked at him last night as he moved the fake kids out of his car and into hers and he wants to get under that van with her. He wants to pull her in and kiss her. He'll press against her, one hand in her hair, one on her ass and-

He stops himself.

Shit.

There's tension. 

* * *

He worked the late shift and she's in her room by the time he gets home. The door's closed. He remembers when she used to read in the kitchen and wait so they could eat dessert or drink together and say anything they wanted to say.

He goes to the fridge and grabs a beer. These dharma beers taste like shit but it's better than nothing. He takes a good long swig.

At this point it doesn't even matter if she stays or goes. Either way, their safe zone is gone. The place where they can just relax and talk and not pretend is ruined. Because every time he looks at her and acts as if he doesn't want to push her up against the wall right then and there he's pretending anyway.

The best thing for both of them is if he just leaves. Because he's not going to make a move. Not on her. He cares about her too much to lose their friendship, or whatever is left of it. And, lets face it, it would really suck to get rejected from her. She'd probably go all cold and Other on him, asking him what the hell was he thinking and making him feel like an asshole. She's had bad luck with guys in the past and he knows as well as anyone that he's not the best candidate. He knows that he's a kickass friend, but he can't imagine her trusting him as anything more than that.

Maybe if they just get some space. She'll stop being a bitch once she gets her own house like she wants and it will probably be easier for him. If he's not constantly surrounded by her he'll probably be better at just being friends. If anything, that's what will salvage their friendship.

But he's too stubborn and he doesn't want to let her win.

She wants to go, _she_ goes. He's sticking with his plan until she cracks.

So he pushes the urges away and goes up to her room and knocks on her door. He doesn't wait for a response before he opens it.

"Hey Blond-oh."

"James!" She's topless. She's pulling a tank top over her head, pulling it down at super speed now. He should probably look away.

"What the hell are you doing!" she demands, glaring at him.

_Eyes on her face_, he reminds himself. She's braless and that shirt is see through and tight and its so tempting. _Don't._

She crosses her arms over her chest. "I was telling you not to come in."

"Well I guess I wasn't listening," he smirks. Her glare somehow gets even colder. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask you a question."

"What?" she snaps. She takes a breath, tries to calm down. She hates that they are living like this.

"Hey, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go for a walk."

She sighs. "Not really dressed to go out, James."

"Well fine, we can just stay here." He walks past her and sits down on the edge of her bed. "We haven't talked for a while. Like, really talked."

She's not wearing a bra and talking really isn't at the top of his list right now. He has to adjust his position a little. Cross his legs so she doesn't see.

And he's on her bed and talking really isn't the first thing on her mind either. But she knows that she has to push past this. They can't keep going on like this forever.

"Sure. Let me just get some real clothes on." She picks her bra up off the floor and grabs a tee shirt from her draw and heads out to the bathroom.

He looks around her room. He really hasn't been in here that often. They usually talk in the kitchen or the living room. This is a step up, he thinks, though her bed probably isn't the best of places to focus on being just friends.

She comes back in, still sexy in an oversized tee shirt and he is in so damn deep.

She climbs into bed and leans back against the headboard, bringing her knees into her chest. There couldn't be any more space between them.

"Okay," she says. "What's up?"


	4. And It All Comes Down

**_So this took longer then I hoped to get to, but I am not giving up on this story! Sorry the chapters come so rarely, I'm going to try to be better on the next one! Hopefully I still have a few readers left, and if so I hope you enjoy this chapter! It would be awesome if you could leave a review to let me know you're still there! Thanks so much to Mary2175, Marla's Lost, Eyeon, ImNotGIJane, Kasi, and Gondelaurier and koralina for reviewing the last chapter!_**

**_Sarah_**

* * *

What's up?

Where was he supposed to start. His dick, for one. That was definitely still up. And then how much he wanted to move closer, to touch her face, hold her hand, to brush her lips with his own.

How much he wanted to absolutely attack her, to lunge at her and rip off her clothes and take her right then and there.

How much he wanted to tell her everything. To say _what the fuck are we doing?_ He wanted them to laugh at how childish and competitive and stupid they've been. _I'm sorry. _He could try saying that. And then they could talk about how ridiculous Miles looked when they had to work the early shift and he just stared with his mouth hanging open and his eyes glazed over at the screens. He'd tell her about Phil's crush on Rosie and they'd joke about all the ways they could hold that over him. They'd talk about how much Jin's English has improved and how much happier he seems, but how the they still have to keep an eye on him because he still spent half the day searching for Sun and they've begun to realize she probably wasn't coming back. She would ask how that made him feel, about Kate, and he would say fine. He would tell her the truth like he did when they first ended up in this house together. He'd tell her that Kate, who he used to fall asleep thinking about every night, wondering what would have happened if he didn't jump, had disappeared. _And I've got you to thank for that Blondie. You, Juliet, have taken her place._

"How are you?" He asks back.

How is she? She almost laughs.

"I'm fine, James. Is that the talk you wanted?"

"No it ain't, Smartass. I just…" he gestures aimlessly, circling his wrist. He goes for honestly. "I miss talkin' to ya."

She sighs. "I know. I miss it too. I guess we're getting caught up in our own things."

He stares at her. Getting caught up in their own things? Is that what she's calling it? You know what, no. No, he's done. He's done being gentle about all of this. She's been putting him through hell. Ignoring him, being the ice princess to turn him off. But all it really did was make him realize how much she turned him on and he can't do anything about it. And all because she is too much of a damn coward to look him in the eye and tell him that this isn't working.

I mean Jesus, he thinks, how do you play double/triple agent, stay alive when everyone else on the island wants to kill you, join a group where all but one were determined to shut you out. How does she have it in her to do all of that but can't just say _one of us needs to move out_. She must be used to using those cold stone eyes (and dammit why does he find them so intimidating and so god damn sexy?) and tricking people into trusting her motives until she gets what she wants.

Well guess what _Sweetheart_, he thinks bitterly, I have sixteen years of practice.

But he's done being the charismatic businessman here to seduce her. He's done trying to be break her by being too close and too _nice_. He's angry and she damn well deserves to know it.

"Yeah, we have been 'getting caught up' haven't we? I've been getting caught up trying to give you a ride home from work, trying to make conversation at dinner, trying to set up game nights and invite you on a walk so that you have a reason to talk to me, because you ain't doin' that unless you've got a damn good reason, huh? And then _you've_ been getting caught up in ignoring me, walkin' away from anything we do together, locking yourself in your room so you don't even have to see me. I mean, son of a bitch!" he over exaggerates a shrug, lifting his hands to his head in mock confusion. "I don't know how we are letting this happen!"

She stares at him, her blue eyes iced over.

"Still can't talk?" He yells. "You really still got nothing to say to me!"

She's silent for a moment. Then, softly, "It's been hard for me."

"Oh don't even try that Juliet," He interrupts. "Don't act like this is so much worse for you, that that's an excuse! Jin has a pregnant wife he'll probably never see again, Dan watched his girlfriend die, Miles might be schizophrenic, and of course Kate is who knows where!" He looks for a reaction, knowing that wasn't fair of him, but he only she's the faintest flicker of her eyes. It makes him even angrier that there wasn't more. "And here you are, saved from Ben and your other Others Buddies, finally free like you always said you wanted and-"

"Right," she cuts in sharply. He finally got something out of her. He should feel proud. "Of course when I said I wanted to leave the others I meant getting trapped in the seventies instead. Where Ben still flirts with me, along with his alcoholic Dad. After _three years_ of being stuck on this island, away from my sister, I'm still here! Only now there is no way of getting back to her, except of course for her bitchy thirteen year old self. I _told_ you, I wanted off this island."

"So you should have gone!" He screams. "That first sub, you should have left. I'm sorry I ruined everything and asked you to stay, I'm sorry I keep making you do things you don't want to do. Not that this is me. You could just fucking ask me!" He's cracking. She's got that stone hard face again and here he is falling into pieces. He waits for her to respond but she doesn't say anything.

"You know what," he continues. "I'm done. You win. God dammit!" He knocks the book off her nightstand and it slams into the wall. She doesn't move. "I can't believe I put up with living like this for this long anyway. Do you think this was fair to me Juliet? So congratulations, I'm going to put you out of your misery. Because I know how _hard _this has been for you. How _hard _it is to live with someone like me and pretend you like it." What he's saying doesn't make sense anymore. Nothing makes sense. He wants to keep screaming, he wants to walk out, he wants to destroy the room, he wants to kiss that look right off her face. She still hasn't moved and he thinks he might hate her but he also thinks it would destroy him if he never talked to him again. He wants to calm down, wants to talk this out but he is so wound up and she still hasn't moved, hasn't apologized, hasn't said a thing. Does she care at all?

"No," he says softly. "No, I'm done."

And he walks out the room, down the stairs, and doesn't bother to get his shoes.

She sits on the bed, heart pounding, unsure if she could speak if she tried, if she could even twitch a finger without breaking down, and listens to the front door creaking open and then swinging itself shut.


End file.
